Tuesday 14 January 2020

"Kids are like farts... I just about tolerate my own"....

A good female friend once said to me "Kids are like farts, you can just about tolerate your own". I sat there and asked her about this, she replied with exhaustion and stated that although she loved her daughter, she was hard work and going to play dates/school runs/birthday parties/assemblies etc was extremely tedious. Trying to discipline your own child with your own morals and values and rules for living was hard enough when the child did not obey them without having to deal with other peoples children who might not have the same morals and values as you. And lets face it parent or not, nobody wants to be around screaming misbehaved children.

I sat long and hard and thought about this statement and started to believe that perhaps she was right. I mean I would love to have my own children but never having them and having to at times be around my friends children was somewhat annoying. 

My friends and sisters have all had children and I know at times they look at me and envy the fact that I can just do what I want when I want and they are restricted to say the least what with babysitters, snotty noses, bath time, parents evenings and everything else that comes along with parenthood. 

This is a general sweeping statement and one I will be shot out for being politically incorrect but generally the vibe I get is that many men seem to get the better deal. It appears that some can just swan off for the quick pint, work late or just pop to the car wash etc leaving the mother at home dealing with said child. Ok this isn't always the case but from my experience fairly often.

Which leads me onto how not having kids of my own I seem to be still very restricted. My friends say that they would love to be able to go out when they wanted but as I sit here alone like I do most weekends and evenings I think to myself "so would I". 

For not only do the kids restrict my friends social lives but they also restrict mine. I have all the time in the world to be spontaneous and just go off but having no friends to do it with is not quite as fun. 

Some of my childless male friends say the same but they still seem to be able to go out with their male friends who have children, more often than I can. Which brings me back to why I said the sweeping statement of "men seem to get a better deal". Yes,I know this isn't always the case but in my experience it is.

So since all my friends have "abandoned me" for family life! I sit and make plans to do things solo. Yes, I am very independent and I go on holiday alone, weekend breaks alone, meals, cinema trips and hobbies all alone. But how I do miss having the spontaneity of having my friends around. 

I have to pre plan times when I see them, which somehow seems unfair as I don't have children. I am living a life as if I have responsibility and a family, yet I haven't one.

I have heard time and time again "get out there and make new friends" now that is a great idea why on earth didn't I think of that?! Making friends especially childless friends when you are over 40 is somewhat difficult. Most women of my age have families or partners and cant just be readily available to be spontaneous with me. The other thing people say to me is to "join groups, start a new hobby to make new friends" like I haven't thought of that one either! I have tried that many different activities and been unsuccessful in meeting a set of new "available" friends it is ridiculous. I start to chat to women and they are like "must dash got to get home to the hubby and the kids" Hubby being one of the most annoying words on the new formulated English language.

So now I hear you say, "why don't you just go to see your friends with children?" Well I have been there and got the T.Shirt as all my friends have children, all I can say is "I would rather not, well not often anyway"  I really enjoy having a conversation being interrupted by the little sweet hearts so a full conversation rarely happens. I am sure If I had my own the kids, they could all happily go off and play but when I don't have any to distract the little cherubs all they want is their mum! Which sucks the life right out of me. Selfish I know, as I am sure my friends would love the adult chat but when darling Imogen or Marcus is running around in circles around us I would rather pass....After all I am not a parent. Being around their families also feels like rubbing salt into a wound as I have not had the pleasure of parenthood myself and that grief returns.

So as you can see I am in total agreement, "kids are like farts... you can just about tolerate your own". So as I don't have any of my own, I seem to have zero tolerance for them!

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