Tuesday, 21 January 2020

Grandparents

Most people are born into having a set of grandparents or grandparent or sometimes more.

I never met my grandad on my dads side of the family as he passed away when my dad was only eighteen and I was never really close to my nan on my dads side but then my dad isn't particularly close to his sisters, maybe because he is the only male. I am not quite sure. My nan lived long into her 90s and eventually passed a way in a nursing home. I don't feel to guilty for not being close as an adult, mainly as I rarely saw her as a child and was never close to that side of my family.

My mum's parents, I was extremely close to. They are the welsh side of my family. My grandad who I doted on was originally a coal miner, my nan originally worked in the kitchens at an Orphanage following learning to be a dress maker. They moved to Birmingham in the ww2.

My dad always worked hard and wasn't around much when I was growing up and my mum predominately looked after me but mum soon got a job so my grandparents looked after me.

I spent a lot of time with them growing up. My grandad taught me how to play table tennis, dominoes; for money, so my first kind of gambling! He taught me the national anthem of England and Wales. He taught me how to grow runner beans and grow strawberries. I spent most of my days with my grandad as nan was usually baking her famous jam tarts! 

Grandad used to take me to the local reservoir and tried to teach my how to catch fish with nothing more than a stick, piece of string and a maggot...I never really caught anything! He would take me to the park, feed the ducks and geese and used to give me sweets out of a secret tin when my nan wasn't looking. 

I used to sit for hours listening to the same stories over and over again about how he got coal dust under his skin, which was kind of a weird blue colour. He used to tickle me and make me laugh by placing his recently shaved face onto my face to make it burn...he used to call it his "dry shave". He had a very distinctive smell. A mix of Brylcream and Oldspice or Brut. I used to wear his flat caps,  very cool now since the series Peaky Blinders took off, they were always so greasy and smelt inside from his Brylcreamed hair.

As I got older I visited my grandparents frequently and no matter what time it was, grandad would always peel some potatoes and make his special chips whilst I was scoffing my nans jamtarts. I loved my grandparents.

My parents had them round most Sundays for Sunday roast and we entertained them most Christmas's. 

Sadly, when I was in my very early twenties, my grandad got taken poorly and went into hospital, he never came out. He was being treated for bladder cancer, which I didn't know at the time and in ended up having a myo cardial infarction, basically a heart attack. I remember visiting him not long before he passed away and he seemed so scared and agitated and in pain. His sparkly blue eyes, seemed dull and glazed. Grandad passed away. I was heart broken. 

My nan deteriorated very quickly and within 18 months of grandad passing, her memory suddenly became really poor and she could no longer look after herself and went into a home, where she too passed away. 

I actually live only a mile or so from where they lived in Birmingham, maybe another reason why I chose to move to this area of Birmingham. I miss them a lot and wish I could just pop in and be welcomed with open arms and have a cuddle once more.

Death is the only certain thing in life and we have all at some point had to come to terms with a death of a loved one or at some point will have to go through it.

I have no grandparents now which saddens me but that is life.

My Parents are both elderly and in their 80s. They are in good health and seem far younger than their years but the reality of them actually being as old as they are, scares the living shit out of me.

I feel very sad for my parents as they have 9 grandchildren. Three of them are still children and don't live locally but the older 6, don't really seem to have any time to spend with them, minus one of them who goes every week for dinner, which I am so very grateful for. I feel sad for my parents as when my siblings went back to work following having their children my parents looked after the kids but now don't hear off them. I would hate them to regret not spending time with them, especially as my parents did so much for them as children.

I am forever grateful that I spent the time with mine, not only as a child growing up but  as a young adult. I have no regrets. 





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