Sunday 23 August 2020

The End.....?

I've been writing my blog since early January 2020. The purpose of it is to share events in my life that might not always be positive but to share my experiences and hopefully provide a hope to people if they have felt in similar situations that its ok to just be ok or even feel terrible for a while. 

I want to say that no matter how bad it gets and even when you feel that the worst things are happening or that you've suffered and the feeling of being lost in life for the millionth time that actually it will be ok and it is alright to feel this way sometimes.  

I'm not promising you'll feel a zillion dollars but you're surviving each and everyday and that is enough. I'm still surviving. My blog isn't about being positive or to aim so high its unrealistic. I'm promoting survival. Acknowledging and exploring the journey of acceptance. 

Life doesn't always pan out the way you had hoped. People, places, death and your own mind can be big enough barriers to prevent some of your dreams happening, staying exactly that....dreams. Sure some dreams you'll conquer but others.... maybe delayed or never will. I am neither a negative or positive person I'm a balanced realist.
I'm not saying don't aim high or set standards for yourself but having an unrealistic set of expectations of having a semi perfect life is likely to end in poor self esteem, as we will never achieve perfection, for perfection does not exist. No sooner you reach the top if you constantly crave more you will feel a life time of frustration because you'll never reach the top. 

Be content with being ok. For happiness is momentary, happiness is the little things....someone holds the door open for you, or thanks you when you hold it open for someone else. Its laughing at your dogs or cats when they do daft crazy acrobats. Its the smell of rain on warm concrete. The smile from the elderly lady selling flowers on the market. The laugh out loud moments in your favorite novel.  Of course moments of happiness are different for everyone....

There is no rule "to be happy" or "to be positive" all you have to do is just "be"

Too many people nowadays attempt to convert people into this myth of a positive state of mind when actually feeling "balanced" is far healthier. 

I always say to my patients it's about challenging the negative to become alternative and balanced never positive. 
There is a huge grey area between positive and negative, things are never black and white. 

I have recently reduced my level of writing for several reasons. In fact at one point I thought I might call it a day and end my blog altogether. 

A big factor is simply wanting to disconnect from a screen, after having spending hours looking at one for work, the last thing I wanted to do is look at my phone, TV or laptop. In fact the TV is rarely on in my house and once I finish work I rarely look at my phone. 

Another part is that I question who actually reads this bollocks that I often churn out.... 

I write because I love to write, for myself and my well being and for those who understand and have compassion for the the topics I write about. 

However, it wasn't until I realised that perhaps some of my audience were reading my blog for judgment which is far from the concept of why I write. My blog isn't about being judgmental it is speaking the truth and not this airy fairy bollocks that is all over the internet about positivity. It is about real life experiences that you learn from. Being in prison, loosing people you love, being childless and everything in between...The rawness of life.

I have spoken to many people, friends, acquaintances, professionals and they have all said the same continue with my blog and write like I always have and not let judgmental people stop me. So here I am once again....

I have a few titles in my draft box, just waiting for the right moment to publish my posts. My patience has grown significantly, I like to bide my time, for there is no rush to belt out my musings consistently.

So is this the end for Miss Snikpoh?......Not yet....